How to Deal with the Pain of Losing a Loved One

There is nothing more painful than the death of a loved one.

When someone dies, it can feel as if our very souls are ripped out in agony, particularly if the death is sudden and unexpected.  It may take years for us to regain some semblance of normalcy after losing a loved one to an unexpected tragedy.  While we do not have the answers we seek as to why something like this must happen, we can rejoice in the knowledge that, even in the pain, our God surrounds us with His comfort through the Holy Spirit.  The only thing to do when faced with tragedy is to give it to God, trust in Him and let those around you comfort and lift you up and support you with their love.  Remember that God has promised that we will see our loved ones again one day.

Death is a painful separation for loved ones.  Even if a death is expected, it is difficult to accept.  When a sudden tragic accident takes a loved one, however, the shock can feel as if it is too much to bear.  The only thing we can rely on in these times is God’s word.  In 2 Corinthians 4:17-18, we read, “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”  We understand from God’s word that this world is only temporary.  As much as we may love and miss the one who is gone, we have the hope and confidence that we will see that person again one day.

In the face of an unexpected tragedy and losing a loved one, it is easy to lose hope.  As the girls in the Parker Sisters series found when their parents were tragically taken in an airplane accident, the pain can seem to be too much to bear.  However, hope will always find a way into our hearts; the hope of one day being reunited with the ones who have gone before us and are, even now, looking on our Savior’s face.

In Time of Struggle, Family is Key

family prayer

When Things Go Wrong, Where Do You Turn?

Who supports you through the difficult times in your life?  Who do you feel will always be there, guiding and supporting you no matter how far away you may roam?  Many of us fight with our families and at times feel that we can do just as well without them.  However, it is unwise to try to do everything on your own.  Do not push your loved ones away!  Whether you are related by blood or not, family is key in your support system in any time of struggle.   Fortunately, as Christians, we have more than one family.  We have our relatives whom God has placed in our life to help us as well as the Church’s body of believers and, of course, our heavenly Father.

The story of the Parker Sisters is one of the importance of family.  The sisters soon discover that without each other, they would be unable to face the perils life brings.  In fact, the sisters are faced with the simple fact that without family, they would never overcome the terrible struggles they face.  For example, Sondra is determined to keep her family’s ranch, but faces seemingly insurmountable obstacles.  Without her sisters’ help, she might have given up!  Jennifer has made some terrible choices in life but knows that when she turns to her sisters, they will not only forgive her but will help her find a way to overcome the problems and return to the path God has set for her life.

Family is key in any time of struggle.  While we rely on our earthly family, we also have a heavenly family that supports us as well!  Not only do we have the love and support of the Church on this earth, but we have the Holy Spirit to guide us.  God’s word promises that He will never leave us or forsake us, and that he has sent the Comforter to us to help us in our earthly struggles.  When we are in trouble, we can turn to our earthly family, our Church family and our heavenly Father who will always be there to guide and support us.

If Your Family Observed You For the First Time, What Would Their Opinion Be?

Proverbs 31:28 “Her children arise up, and call her blessed;
her husband [also], and he praiseth her.”

What you think about in private is just as important as what you do in public.  In your private moments are when true character and virtue are built.  Man looks on the outside, but God sees and knows the heart!  A trustworthy woman, like the one described in Proverbs 28, is the same in her home as she is in public.  One of the lessons learned by the girls in theParker Valley series is that what you grow inside your heart will become your reality and ultimately determine your character.

According to Proverbs 31, the virtuous woman’s husband and children, who know her best, see her unselfishness and the love and care that she has for all of them. They are proud of her. She is a good mother and wife, and they let her know it.  While many women focus on the praise that the children and husband have for the mother that is not the important lesson.  What is important is that they recognize that she is virtuous because her actions at home, in the privacy of her family, show it just as her actions in public do.

She is greatly respected because she has earned the praise of her family. There can be no higher joy for a mother than for her children to grow up to praise her as the source of the wisdom that made them godly.  While children may not be mature enough to understand this when they are young, they will certainly realize it when they have children of their own!  A Godly woman pursues a course of truth even when her children do not understand what she is doing or complain about the fact that their mother does not let them do what “everyone else’s” mother does.  Her husband is happy that he has found a wife to raise his children in a Godly way.

Building the character and virtue of a trustworthy woman as described in Proverbs 31 is a lifelong endeavor.  However, it is one that offers true joy for those who are willing to do the work necessary to earn the high praise of the husband and family for virtue and righteous living.

Having Confidence in Your Character

Proverbs 31:25-27 “Strength and honour [are] her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.  She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue [is] the law of kindness.  She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.”

Have you ever wondered what it looks like when someone has the character of Christ?  In Proverbs 31:25-27, we have a picture of this type of person.  Amazingly, it is not a patriarch like Abraham or an apostle like Paul.  Instead, it is a humble, unnamed woman who nevertheless is held up as an example of Christ’s very spirit and personality.  Proverbs 31 shows us the woman of noble character, and when we emulate the things about her that we learn we can develop the confidence in character ourselves that comes from knowing that we are pursuing the right path.

In verse 25 of Proverbs 31, we see the words that describe the character of a woman who fears the Lord. Her “clothing” displays divine wisdom, giving her confidence to face the future with its unexpected challenges.  She is well covered in the spiritual things of righteousness.

In verse 26, we see a woman who understands wisdom and the law but whose justice is tempered with mercy.  Her speech conveys her wisdom and kindness. Her words build up and do not tear others down. She is not a gossip or a slanderer. When she speaks, it is to help. Her wisdom instructs her children.

In verse 27, we see a woman who is industrious.  Her first thought is for the well-being of the members of her own house.  She is a skilled manager of the home. The “bread of idleness” mentioned in this verse comes from the same root word as the man in Proverbs 6:6 and 6:9 who is described as a “sluggard.”  The root word literally means “eyes looking everywhere.”  A person who eats the bread of idleness is always looking for the next chance to take something from someone else without working for it.

Proverbs 31 gives us a wonderful lesson in the confidence in character we can have when we emulate the woman of noble character.  Like the young women in the Parker Valley series, we can learn to develop this confidence of character.

Scroll To Top